My Story

I was hesitant to begin this journey because I don't have a degree or any professional credentials.  I was then reminded of the many PhD's (Pretty hard Days) I had racked up over the years in the School of Life.  I guess that makes me just as qualified as anyone else since I am not writing to treat mental illness, I am simply encouraging the start of a discussion.  So...here's my story...

I started dating my husband, Scott, when I was just 15 years old.  We dated for 3 1/2 years and got married shortly after my 19th birthday.  Three months later, Scott experienced his first psychotic episode and was hospitalized for eight days.  He had not shown any prior symptoms, but the doctors figured that several stressers stacked together (losing a job and starting a new job, getting married and moving away from his childhood home for the first time all within two months) brought his mental illness to light in such a drastic way. Since he was adopted, we had no medical history of his biological family.  We found out in later years, after finding his birth mother, that his biological father also suffered from mental illness.  

I remember feeling like my life was ending just as it was beginning.  I was filled with questions about what was happening in the present and uncertain about our future.  I knew nothing about mental illness and felt very alone.  My feelings of confusion, sadness and guilt were fueled by rumors that I must be "something to live with"...only married three months and I'd already caused Scott to have a mental breakdown!  (Honestly, I can't remember if I was actually told this rumor was going around our small town or if I just thought it was...but that is how I felt.)  Most people didn't know what to say to us, so they didn't say anything at all.  It was a very lonely time.  However, my amazing husband never hid his illness from anyone.  It was very difficult for him to return to work and go out in public at first because he was always wondering what others were thinking of him.  However, it became very natural for Scott to share his story.  As he shared, it was amazing how many others began to share their own story about themselves or someone in their family that dealt with mental illness.  He has helped countless others become more transparent and comfortable with their own journey through mental illness.  It has always been our prayer that our experiences would help others along the way.  Like I said, he has helped others share their experiences and now it's my chance to try and help those that walk alongside loved ones suffering from mental illness.

Scott was initially diagnosed with schizophrenia, but was re-diagnosed with manic depression (now known as bipolar disorder) later on.  We were fortunate that a combination of three medications brought his illness under control...for the most part.  Several dose adjustments in his medications have been needed over years, especially during the first three years after his onset.  

I am happy to report that even through the struggles, we have been married for 32 years.  By God's grace, we went on to own a home and raise two wonderful children.  Two years ago, we sold our home and went on the road as full-time RVers.  That was a wonderful adventure!  However, we were recently blessed with our first grandchild, so are now settling down once again to be near family.  I'm not going to lie; there are still challenging days, especially in the spring and fall.  However, we continue to love each other the best way we know how.